FULL-SPECTRUM COLOR

“We are all in the process of dying,” my friend said, dropping this tidbit of reality on me with the same air of casualness that one might comment on the weather. I was probably in my mid to late twenties when he and I had one of our many conversational debates about something or other, and he’d often raise this point to me. Death was not in the forefront of my mind much then. In fact, as I recall my twenties, I was probably more focused on paying my rent, finishing graduate school, and living out my purpose in life than I was in facing the fact that I was dying.

I’m having an anniversary this month. It’s a celebration! Twenty years this month, perhaps even to this very day as I write this, I set up my new home in California and I haven’t looked back. I remember quite vividly making the trek into Oakland, California in a caravan with my dad. He drove the Uhaul truck with my belongings. And, I followed behind in my blue-grey Toyota Cressida packed with even more of my belongings…because, I have never mastered the art of traveling lite.

There are certain qualities that define the peak of summer in Maryland. And I revel in them all. Everything is lush and green and alive, and the air often thick with heat and humidity and the smell of fescue and ryegrass. Mornings are filled with the songs of all variety of woodland birds, from the red-breasted robin to the Carolina wren, the caw of black crows and the triplet coo, coo, coo of morning doves. Birds warble, low light pierces through trees, large insects zip by — horse flies, bumble bees, big black cicadas that sometimes smack into me as I stroll down the driveway to fetch the morning paper.

This morning, while scrolling endlessly through my Instagram feed, I was struck by a photo posted by a woman in the U.K. whose Instagram account I follow. Her name is Julie Jones and she goes by the moniker of the “Soulful Baker.” Her posts often show the most artfully created baked pies and treats which she makes completely from scratch with utmost mindfulness and beauty. What’s equally striking about Julie’s feed are the occasional posts and short musings about her “mum,” who is suffering from severe dementia. This morning’s post was one of those, and it really caused an ache in my heart. It reminded me of pictures I used to take of me and my dad, who also suffered from severe dementia before he passed in 2016. In fact, just to look at their faces, you might think my dad and Julie’s mom were sister and brother.